


Just This Once

by agirlnamedtruth



Category: The Vampire Diaries & Related Fandoms, The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blow Jobs, Come Swallowing, Doppelganger, Dubious Consent, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Mind Games, No Humanity Elena Gilbert, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Episode: s04e18 American Gothic, Sex, Woman on Top
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 11:00:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7571602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agirlnamedtruth/pseuds/agirlnamedtruth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She wasn't Elena, not quite but she wasn't Katherine either. She was a wholly different creature.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just This Once

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [wish fulfillment ficathon](http://margottenenbaum.livejournal.com/197238.html).

Elijah cocked his head to the side, a slight stiffening of his neck and back the only sign he’d heard anything. In a hotel full of people, he tried to tune them out as much as possible, lose himself in a book until silence reigned again and he could think properly. But this was not the gait of a human reveler or tourist kept out too late. The step was too light, too fast. A vampire.

When the footsteps stopped outside his door, lingering, pacing back and forth, he set his book aside and rose, opening the door without so much as a second glance at who was on the other side, leaving it open as he returned to his chair. “You are aware you do not require a formal invitation?”

Elena leaned against the doorframe, arms folding awkwardly. Even without the draining guilt her humanity would have burdened her with, she couldn’t shake the fact she’d had him fooled for a moment too long. A moment in which she’d let him think he wasn’t kissing her, he was kissing Katherine. And that stuck in her throat more than she’d like.

“How about an informal one then?” she asked, toes scuffing the invisible line that constituted his borrowed threshold.

“Come in, Elena,” Elijah said, sparing her a proper look this time. He could see why she’d passed as Katherine. It wasn’t about the clothes or the voice. There was something to her, a hardness she didn’t usually have. Mixed with the softness that Katherine had been trying her best to show of late, there was something of an unsettling middle ground between the two of them that unnerved him slightly.

Elena shut the door behind her, still hovering on the threshold, sensing Elijah’s less than warm welcome. “I’m sorry about the whole Katherine thing.”

“That I believed her or that I believed you?” Elijah blinked, the apology barely registering. Katherine’s actions were none of her concern just like Elena’s actions were not any of his. “Either way, an apology is not needed, merely for curiosity’s sake.”

“I’m sorry that I kissed you, it wasn’t fair,” Elena clarified, taking a step into the room, taking in the white walls and neutral decor that every room in the building had, simply for something else to look at.

“If we’re going to argue the small details, the fault there was mine,” Elijah dismissed, fingertips tracing over the pattern carved into the arm of the chair.

“You didn’t know what you were doing, I did,” Elena objected, something like heat rising in her chest. She didn’t care, of course, what he thought but this was her misstep, she wanted it cleared on her own terms. She refused to help him wallow in self-pity.

“On the contrary, I did know,” Elijah said, stopping her in her tracks. “Or rather, suspected enough to decide to do it anyway.”

Elena narrowed her eyes, trying to work out why he was lying. It had been clear on his face that he’d been just as taken aback as she was by the outcome. There was no way that he’d known. “If you’re just saying that to spare my feelings, I assure you-”

“There are no feelings to spare? Yes, I had noticed something different about you,” Elijah confirmed to himself as he stood, not sure if he was going to ask her to leave or encourage her to stay. “What made you switch them off?”

Elena sighed, folding her arms again, flopping down in the chair he’d abandoned. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You don’t want to talk about it because it hurts?” Elijah enquired, a flicker of hope running through him. Apathy in avoidance of pain meant the pain was still there, underneath. His family could teach a class on unhealthy ways of avoiding pain and many of the vampires he’d made acquaintances of would pass with flying colors. Those of Mystic Falls especially.

“I don’t want to talk about it because I’m bored of it,” Elena disputed. “Don’t start getting ideas because I promise, whatever you’re thinking, they’ve tried it. Ask Rebekah. Ask _Katherine_.”

Elijah smiled; the thought of the three of them together trying to play nicely was somewhat amusing in the circumstances. “I will not trouble myself appealing to your better nature then.”

“Good,” Elena said, unable to shake the slightly defensive huff from her voice, slightly reminiscent of her earlier act. “Because I’m not so sure that nature was better anyway.”

“We’ll agree to disagree there,” Elijah said, defiant in his belief that one of them, one of the many caught up in this mess his mother had started, would not be ruined by it.

“Why?” Elena frowned, standing up, stepping into his personal space, that heat rising again, the resentment that she couldn’t quite place. “You seem to like Katherine perfectly fine this way.”

“Katherine, for all her faults, none of which I will excuse, is not devoid of her emotions,” Elijah said, refusing to give ground to her even though she was right. Katherine was a mistake he couldn’t seem to stop himself making. Elena was different. It was easier to deny his feelings for her, the same spark that drew him to all of them. She had remained remarkably untouched by the curse his family seemed to lay on everyone they met. But then, she was so young still, untouched by the world as a whole. Unlike Katherine and Tatia. Seeing her like this, without her humanity, she almost wasn’t Elena anymore. She was another version of the same face, passably the same but with an ocean of difference underneath. “I am loathe to believe you are.”

Elena swallowed, the closeness suddenly stifling now that he’d cooled her anger. She refused to feel bad, for Katherine or for him. She definitely wouldn’t feel bad for herself. But she was sick of people trying to make her feel anything, love or hate, happiness or sadness. She was done.

“If I’m so devoid of emotions then why would you think I care what you’re loathe to think?” she asked bluntly, staring up at him, their position oddly reminiscent of when he’d kissed her. Kissed Katherine. Kissed _her_.

“I don’t,” Elijah said carelessly, stroking over her cheek, tilting her head up, searching for something of the innocent girl he’d sought so hard to protect, even from himself, and finding nothing there. “You can go.”

“No, I can’t,” Elena said, letting go of the breath she’d been holding as he touched her. It wasn’t much but there was a flicker of something, buried deep. And she knew she should shut it down. She knew once she let it in, everything else would come flooding back but after feeling nothing for so long, it was addictive. She needed more.

Reaching up, she curled her hand around the back of Elijah’s neck, pulling him down into a kiss, that small flicker igniting something deeper, the very thing she’d been chasing since he’d pulled away earlier, realizing it wasn’t her he was supposed to be kissing. But none of that mattered to her anymore. Katherine didn’t matter. Damon didn’t matter. Nobody mattered except for that little spark of something it seemed she could only get from Elijah. But of course, just like before, he pulled back. Out of some respect or honor that she currently found herself lacking.

“Elena...” he started but she shook her head, laying her hand over his lips.

“I don’t want to be Elena.” Taking her hand back, she looked up at him, unblinking, waiting for him to push her away, thankful her fear of rejection barely touch her anymore. The tension was unbearable, waiting for something she was certain would come, the darkness of his eyes giving away nothing except for a momentary lapse of control right before he pulled her closer, taking her completely by surprise.

Elena’s back hit the wall with a hollow thud but she squared her shoulders, the pain nothing against how alive she felt. Hands blindly reaching down to undo his pants, she gasped as he pushed her back again, wrists pinned above her head, his lips and teeth against her neck. Entirely unused to being powerless, even as a human, Elena fought back, grinding her hips up, fangs bared defensively.

“No,” Elijah said thoughtfully, keeping hold of her wrists, his weight keeping her against the wall. “You’re not quite her, are you?”

Elena shook her head, glaring defiantly outwards, over his shoulder, not sure whether it was a good thing or not. 

“Elena would never have let me kiss her today,” Elijah continued, letting one wrist go, keeping his eyes on her to see how she would react.

Stroking her freed hand down his chest, trying to be more subtle this time, Elena softened her glare. “You’d be surprised.”

Elijah shook his head, letting her other hand slip from his grasp. “I knew you weren’t Katherine, I credit myself with being able to mark the difference between doppelgangers by now, but...”

“But...?” Elena prompted, eyes flicking up as she carefully undid the buttons on his shirt.

“But,” Elijah continued slowly, drawing the word out, toying with the hem of her summer dress with the same hesitation. “In your present state, I had hoped you would play along a bit longer.”

“Had your girlfriend not snapped my neck...” Elena pointed out, shrugging off her jacket, arms held up invitingly until he finally committed and pulled her dress up over her head.

“I wouldn’t call her my girlfriend, per se,” Elijah reassured her although he doubted she cared for the intimate details of his personal life anymore than he cared to know which Salvatore she was betraying tonight by coming to him.

“Good,” Elena said, slipping his shirt from his shoulders, laying the palm of her hand against his chest so she could direct him backwards, towards the bed, satisfied she’d regained control of the situation. “Because even _in my present state_ , I don’t want to be her either.”

“Then who do you wish to be?” Elijah asked curiously, his moral line flittering back and forth over her. It was so easy to give in, let her push him down onto the bed and straddle his hips when her eyes weren’t full of self-doubt and regret, when her humanity wasn’t shining through, trying to make everyone be better than they really were. And it would have been equally hard if there was nothing there at all, a hollowness behind her eyes. Then he would stop, but there was a spark of something, _someone_ that demanded his attention, commanded it, laid him down in a way that proved she knew what she was doing, what she wanted. And he couldn’t deny her that, not when he’d fought so hard to keep himself from wanting it too since the moment he’d met her. Since the moment he’d met each of them. Tatia. Katherine. Elena.

The question surfaced again in his mind as her hands pressed into his hips, fingers quick with his zip, determined not to be stopped this time. “Who do you wish to be, Elena?”

“No-one,” Elena answered quickly this time, wrapping her hand around his cock, silencing any further debate with a slow but firm stroke of her fingertips over the soft skin, just under the head. “For once I want it to not matter who I am.”

Hooking aside the gusset of her panties, Elena closed her eyes, sinking down onto Elijah’s cock, biting her lip, drawing in a harsh gasp at the burn as her body opened up for him, entirely unprepared aside from how wet she was. She could feel Elijah move under her, reaching to still her hips, feeling her tightness or sensing her discomfort at the contrasting sensations but she caught his hand before he could touch her, pinning it down into the pillow, a mirror of how he’d restrained. She pushed on regardless of the pain, letting him fill her, needing the sharp sting as she clenched around him, settling against his body.

Leaning forward to keep him pinned, Elena started to move slowly, hips rocking gently back and forth as she got used to the feeling of him inside her. Every so often she’d thought about this, when he looked at her for a fraction of a second too long or when there seemed to be words hanging in the air that didn’t dare be spoken aloud. She’d thought about what it would be like to have him like this. There was an intensity to his gaze that she’d underestimated but he wasn’t immovable like she thought he’d be, there was no stiffness of shame or dishonor as he stroked over her back with his free hand, unclasping her bra. Under every objection she’d imagined him coming up with, under it all he was still just a man, like any she could have had, caught under her, eager to attain that base pleasure that drove every living thing. The same thing that, even with every other emotion and need switched off, drove her to keep rocking her hips, faster and harder until she couldn’t think about anything but him inside her and the pleasure slowly building in her gut.

Watching her with a morbid curiosity, Elijah pushed her bra strap from her shoulder, determined to keep his hand on her if she was going to keep the other prisoner. Slipping her bra off entirely, he rounded the curve of her shoulder, walking over the ridge of her collarbone, following the rise and fall of her chest. Palming her breast, he let her nipple slide between his fingers, her momentum making her pull back and surge forward into his touch, the delicious drag of heat around his cock becoming difficult to ignore as she rode him harder, rewarding his gentle efforts.

Flexing his wrist, he turned his hand so he was holding hers, rather than being restrained, bringing it down to his lips, kissing over her knuckles in turn before using his freedom to push himself up, drawing her in closer. Meeting her thrusts, he pushed deeper inside her until she cried out, hips stuttering skittishly, clinging to sheet and his shoulder, nails gouging deep scratches into the skin, drawing blood easily before the skin healed like it had never been touched. Throwing her head back, Elena gave in and let the pleasure overwhelm her, leaving herself open and vulnerable as she came, the closest she’d come to humanity again, breath ragged and his name on the tip of her tongue but she stopped herself before she cried out again, making sure not to give him a shred of hope that she was salvageable. No matter what the cost, even if she had to give up this bearable feeling, she didn’t want her humanity back again.

Shaking as she came back down, the odd aftershock halting her breath, Elena raised her hips, climbing out of his lap and back onto the bed, righting her panties but making no other attempt to cover herself, looking him up and down before shrugging, her tone more reflective than accusatory, shifting her whole manner back to someone who couldn’t care less about anything at all. Especially not about him. “Huh, I thought you’d put up more of a fight.”

Elijah opened his mouth, brow creased in confusion, reaching out to cup her cheek, staring deep into her eyes like he might find something different to what he’d seen before. She knew he was searching for Elena, for the girl she used to be but she refused to give it to him, instead affecting the same husky tone and smirk she’d practiced earlier. “Don’t worry, sweet Elijah, I don’t care which one of us you want to fuck.”

Shifting her weight on her knees, she squeezed his thigh, glancing at his cock, still hard and shining wet from her cunt. Leaning down, she kept her eyes on his as she licked up its length, tasting herself on his skin before she closed her lips around the head. Keeping her hand on his thigh, the other curled around the base, she worked his cock with her tongue, a strange sense of power coming over her. She could be anyone. He might not buy it, she couldn’t know for sure if he ever had but it suited her to be someone else as she swallowed down his come, dragging the orgasm out of him, hearing the sounds usually reserved for Katherine. 

Kneeling back up again, she grasped his jaw, kissing him roughly just because like this, pretending to be Katherine, she could. When she pulled back, she shook her head, slipping off the bed, leaving her bra behind but gathering her dress up from the floor. She couldn’t help the edge to her tone as she left, even though her words were true. “See that Rebekah makes good use of that cure.”

**Author's Note:**

> As of 01/01/18, I'm opting to disable comments. [More information here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13077201).


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